Wednesday, September 21, 2016

September 19, 2016 - Chicago



Location: Pizzeria Serio
Categories: Snake, Hair
Episodes: The Otto Show, Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy, Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious
Winners: If Anyone Asks, Austen Requires 24-Hour Nursing Care, Paul’s A Clergyman, Kathy is Seven People and Mat Was Wounded in Vietnam

1. If Anyone Asks, Austen Requires 24-Hour Nursing Care, Paul’s A Clergyman, Kathy is Seven People and Mat Was Wounded in Vietnam, 50 pts
2. We’re Going to Miss the Way Neil Would Say Something, and Then Say, “Dude.”, 47.5 pts
3. When I Woke Up This Morning, I Said: “Neil, You’re Not Gonna Like That Man’s Windows,” 47 pts
4. Our Name is Stacy, But You Can Call Us (Wolf Whistle), 45.5 pts
5. Daddy’s Chubby Little Secret, 44.5 pts
6. To Neil! The Cause of - and Solution to - All of Simpsons Trivia’s Problems, 44 pts
7. One Squirt and You’re South of the Border!, 43.5 pts
8. Just Miles from Your Home, Nerds Are Given Pizza and Asked Questions. Neil Calls It “Trivia,” But A More Alarmist Name Would Be, “THE KILLBOT FACTORY!”, 43 pts
9. Neil Arsenty Loses Pants, Life, 41 pts
10. Team Moe, Formerly Gruesome, Formerly Ugly, Formerly Presentable, Formerly Gorgeous, 40.5 pts
11. Forget About the Trivia, When Do We Get the Freaking Guns??, 40 pts
11. They Like Itchy, They Like Scratchy, One Team Seems to Love the Speedo Man, 40 pts
11. This Doesn’t Look Very Clean / Just Do Your Job, Trivia Boy!, 40 pts
11. Hey Neil! Pizzeria Serio Caught Fire and All of Downtown Smells Like Pizza! Wanna Go Smell?, 40 pts
15. This Team is [PROPERTY OF BART SIMPSON], 37 pts
16. The Irregular Oreos, 36.5 pts
17. Can’t We Have One Trivia Night That Doesn’t End with Us Digging Up a Corpse?, 35.5 pts
18. Chicago’s Answer to a Question Nobody Asked!, 34 pts
19. O-E-O, E-OOOooo, O-E-O, E-OOOooo (Shhh!) o-e-o, e-oooooo, o-e-o, e-oooooo, 33 pts
19. The WOO HOO! Simpsons Trivia Facebook Turned Into A Hardcore Shitposting Network So Quietly, You Barely Even Noticed, 33 pts
21. All the Kids in Lakeview are S.O.B’s!, 31.5 pts
22. You May Remember Us from “Gladys, the Groovy Mule!”, 30.5 pts
23. Popeye, Popain, Popeye, Popain, 26 pts
24. All Hail the Inanimate Rod!, 24 pts
25. Oh No! The Corn! Neil Arsenty is Going to Have Our Legs Broke!, 23.5 pts
26. My English is, How You Say, Inelegant, 22.5 pts
27. The Babysitter Bandits, 15 pts
28. B-Flats, 14.5 pts
29. Discovery Channel A, 12 pts
30. Carlos Santana’s Little Helpers, 5 pts

Sunday, September 18, 2016

September 13, 2016 - St. Catharines



Location:  Honest Lawyer, St. Catherines
Episodes: Homie The Clown, Bart vs. Australia, Homer Badman
Round Theme:  Ralph Wiggum
Winner: Gerry's A Pretty Big Wheel Down At the Cracker Factory


1.Gerry's a Pretty Big Wheel Down At the Cracker Factory    49
2. Homer's Desperate Search for A Soulmate Has 
Yielded a Lighthouse-Keeping Trivia Team                            43
3. Why? Why Were We Programmed To Do Trivia?              41.5
4. The Steve Sax Quintet                                                        39.5
5. The Team With The Most Improved Odor                           38
6. Good Time Slim, Uncle Doobie and The Great Frisco
Freakout                                                                                   37.5
7. Stupid Babies Need The Most Attention                             33
8. Purple Monkey Dishwasher                                                30.5
9. Careful...They're Ruffled                                                     30
10. The Rappin' Rabbis                                                           28
11. Lenny and The Jets                                                           28
12. Madman Moe's Pressure Cooker                                      27.5
13. Robber Baby Buggy Bumper Baby Sitting Service           26
14. Greased Up Willies                                                            23.5
15. Joey Joe Joe Shabadoo                                                    20.5
16. D'Oh Girls                                                                          16
17. The 'Topes                                                                         5.5

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

September 13th, 2016 - Toronto



Location : Cadillac Lounge
Categories : Kids at Springfield Elementary, Video Games
Episodes : Itchy and Scratchy Land, Itchy and Scratchy:The Movie, Marge vs Itchy and Scratchy
Winners: The Rappin' Rabbis (Tie Breaker Winner)
The Matt Smith Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Team Naming Excellence: We Cannot Answer Trivia Under These Conditions. If Anybody Wants Us, We'll Be Across the Street at The Rhino. Call The Nelsons, We Don't Care!

1. The Rappin' Rabbis - 41 pts
1. Grover Cleveland Spanked Our Team on Two Non-Consecutive Occasions - 41 pts
3. The Nelsons ft. Pray For Mojo - 39 pts
3. Our Team Has a Case of Laryngitis and a Bad Back. So We Won't Be Saying Anything or Doing Anything. - 39 pts
5. I Propose We Start Our Own Neighborhood Team… A-Roony! - 38.5 pts
6. Kruddler -  37 pts
7. Our Team is Hatless, I Repeat, Hatless - 36.5 pts
7. This Team is Worse Than Godfather III - 36.5 pts
9. Chris, Do You Want Us To Tell You When It's 7:30? - 35.5 pts
9. Here at Globex, We Don't Believe in Team Names. In Fact, We Didn't Even Give You Our Coats! - 35.5 pts
11. I'm Drunk Right Now - 33.5 pts
11. We Cannot Answer Trivia Under These Conditions. If Anybody Wants Us, We'll Be Across the Street at The Rhino. Call The Nelsons, We Don't Care! - 33.5 pts
13. This Team Only Looks Out For One Team… This Team - 32 pts
14. Dances in Underwear and Thinks Too Much - 31 pts
15. Mooching War Widows - 30.5 pts
16. Lovematic Grampas - 30 pts
16. Teams of 3, Leave Them Be. Teams of 4, Eat Some More. - 30 pts
18. Manic Mailman - 29.5 pts
19. The Team Who Embodies Everything About Rock and Roll (Except the Music) - 29 pts
20. The Classy Lassies - 28.5 pts
21. Milpool - 28 pts
22. Queens of Summertime - 26.5 pts
22. Starland Vocal Band - 26.5 pts
24. Which Do You Think is More Important? A Good Trivia Team Name or Stick-To-It-iveness - 26 pts
25. Düff, From Sweden - 23.5 pts
26. The Kwik-E-Smarts - 22.5 pts
26. Trivia Has Heart but Football in the Groin Has Football in the Groin - 22.5 pts
28. Ten-Foot Clown Pole - 22 pts
29. The Suckiest Bunch of Sucks That Ever Sucked - 21 pts
30. Jeremy's Irons - 18.5 pts
31. Bort and the Sweet Candies - 18 pts
32. The Team That's Good For Keeping Down the Urges - 17 pts
33. Snowball 3 - 16 pts
34. A Quiz Team Whose Complete Lack of Competence and Managerial Impotence Turned the #1 Quiz Team in the Bar Into a Tie For Sixth With Table Time and Allied Biscuit - 15.5 pts
35. Johnny and the Cloneasaurus - 14.5 pts
36. And If It's a Crime to Bribe a Jury, Then So Help Us, We'll Soon Be Guilty of That Too! - 14 pts
37. Rich Uncle Skeleton - 13 pts
38. More Asbestos! More Asbestos! - 12 pts
38. Team Adequate  - 12 pts
40. When I Shit I Puke Piss - 10.5 pts
41. Born to Runner Up - 7.5 pts
42. Chicago's Version of Springfield - 5.5 pts

Monday, September 12, 2016

September 6, 2016 - HAMILTON


Location:  Honest Lawyer, Hamilton
Episodes: Last Exit To Springfield, Kamp Krusty, A Streetcar Named Marge
Round Theme:  Back to School
Winner: My Team's a Box!  DAMN YOU...A BOXXXX!!!


1.My Team's a Box! DAMN YOU...A BOXXXX!!!    47
2. The Southern Dandies                                        42.5
3. The Team Name That's Witty At First, But That
    Seems Less Funny Each Time You Hear It         41.5
4. And Who Could Forget The Dear Ratboys          40
5. Captain Whathisname                                          39
6. Compuglobalhypermeganet                                 39
7. Punkin and Dunkin The Twinkle Twins                37.5
8. You'll Have To Speak Up, I'm Wearing A Towel   37
9. The B Sharps                                                        35
10. Look Who's Oinking                                             32
11. The Boogeyman or Boogeymen In The House    31.5
12. The Hans Molemen                                              31
13. The Full Monty Burns                                           29.5
14. Bonerland Medical Association                            27.5
15. Damn Weiner Kids                                              20.5


Sunday, September 11, 2016

September 10, 2016 - Calgary


Location: Dickens Pub
Episodes: Lisa on Ice, Fear of Flying, Homer the Great
Categories: Edna Krabapple, Redacted 2
Winner:  Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors

1. Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors, 46.5
2. You’re going to Simpsons Trivia pal! Bread and water, icy showers, hosts whomping your ass round the clock, and the only way out is suicide., 46
3. Hello! We’re Archie Bell and we’re also the Drells! This is the trivia you tighten up to!, 42
4. Dogs With Bees in Their Mouths, 41
4. Mom, you’re always trying to get us to play trivia. What is it with you? I just think it’s neat., 41
6. Dickens, I’ve come here to make amends for my disgraceful behaviour over the last 20 years. I broke your barstool, befouled your broom closer, and made sweet love to your pool table which I then befouled., 40.5
6. Oh yes! Oh yes! Calgary’s nakedest trivia hosts. They’re not even wearing a smile. Nod suggestively! Yes two, count em, two gorgeous hosts just dying for your leers and cat calls. Yowza yowza., 40.5
6. Trivia? I thought this was the line to Hang the DJ., 40.5
9. We’ve decided to bring in a few ringers. Professional Simpsons Trivia players. We’ll give them token jobs at Dickens and have them play on our trivia team. Honus Wagner, Cap Anson, Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown., 40
10. There sure are a lot of ugly hosts at your trivia event.. oh, look at that one!, 39
10. Uninteresting Staff Team Name, 39
12. The New York City C.H.U.D.s, 37.5
13. Laaatex condom. Boy I’d like to live in one of those!, 35
14. Unmistakable Cone of Ignorance, 24.5
15. Gummy de Milo, 23
16. Reverend Lovejoy and the Disciples, 20
17. At Woo Hoo Classic Simpsons Trivia first you get the answer sheet, then you win the trivia, and then you get the women., 19.5
18. The Diddlys, 19
19. Ned's Nerds, 13.5

Friday, September 9, 2016

September 8, 2016 - Brooklyn, NY

Location: Berry Park
Categories: Smithers; Pets
Episodes: Homer the Great; Bart the Daredevil; The Secret War of Lisa Simpson  
Winner: What's that say? Read the team names? Ugghhh, this is always death...

1. What's that say? Read the team names? Ugghhh, this is always death..., 48 pts
2. Me Dans are Stupid Pigs, 46.5 pts

3. Changing the trivia date... That's a paddling, 46 pts
4. The team that's all lies, but they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is no., 44.5 pts
5. Once the sun goes down at Berry Park, all the weirdos turn crazy, 42.5 pts
5. Attention Marge Simpson. Your son Dan is hosting trivia. Attention Marge Simpson, your older balder fatter son Dan is also hosting trivia, 42.5 pts
5. Nazi Super-Dans are our superiors, 42.5 pts
8. Jeremy's Iron, 37.5 pts
8. Itchy and Scratchy, 37.5 pts
10. The Dans taught us about cool things like nature and why we shouldn't drink seawater, 37 pts
11. Children, that was our only question. There will be no trivia team this year, 33.5 pts
12. Thrillho, 25 pts
13. Helloooo. Simpsons trivia open for business! Who are you to resist us, eh? Come on, Dan's paychecks are going to bounce! Their children need wine!, 25 pts
14. Two Bad Neighbors, 24.5 pts
15. Harsh British Bastards, 5 pts

Sunday, August 21, 2016

August 20, 2016 - Calgary


Location: Dickens Pub
Episodes: Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily, Bart Sells His Soul, Lisa the Vegetarian
Categories: Hans Moleman, Losers
Winner: Well sir, it’s been an uneventful week at Simpsons Trivia: where the Ezras are robust, the Adams are pink-cheeked, and the trivia teams are pink-cheeked and robust. At Dickens Pub where the smiles are free, don’t cha know… 

1. Well sir, it’s been an uneventful week at Simpsons Trivia: where the Ezras are robust, the Adams are pink-cheeked, and the trivia teams are pink-cheeked and robust. At Dickens Pub where the smiles are free, don’t cha know… , 46.5
2. They took out their cell phones, they were rude to the servers, they tipped poorly and did not return our pen. Still, there goes the best damn trivia team Dickens ever had., 45
3. We can’t play trivia like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick to hold up the parade of names is to tell ‘em stories that don’t go anywhere - like the time I caught the C-Train to Dickens. I wanted to drink a new brew, so I decided to go to Lord Nelson’s, which is what they called Dickens in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the C-Train cost a nickel, which in those days had bumblebees on ‘em. “Gimme five bees for a quarter”, you’d say.”, 42.5
4. B Sharps - Sextet, 36
5. The Suckiest Bunch of Sucks That Ever Sucked, 31.5
6. Team Komumatsu Dirt Racing Dunk Masters, 31
7. They’re not just some guys Marge. They’re trivia hosts, and part of a noble tradition… the trivia part of it anyway… And though they may be rat like in appearance, they are truly gods among men., 29.5
8. The sums of the square root of any isosceles trivia is equal to the square root of the remaining side., 29
9. Just for once maybe someone will call me “sir” without adding “you’re making a scene”!, 27.5
10. Dickens Burger is the official meat-flavoured sandwich of the 2016 Olympic Games, 22
11. Iron helps us play!, 18
12. Mmm. Sacrilicious, 10